A trip to the doctor’s office, and a dose of stigma

Recently I went to the university health services to talk with a doctor about some problems I’ve been having.  The past several weeks I have been struggling with sleep. This is common with me when I have a lot of stress in my life. Right now that includes working full time, trying to find an internship so I can graduate and taking part time classes to finish my English minor. Also fighting for more attention from me are my money problems, my self-esteem, the fact that my social life is in shambles, trying to find a sublet for my apartment, trying to figure out moving in a few months, figuring out when I can do laundry next, if I can afford to groceries next week. The list goes on and on.

I asked my doctor about renewing my prescription on Seroquel, or getting something different to help cope with sleep loss as well as other symptoms. Instead of discussing my options with me, and talking about why I should be looking at other options, I got a lecture. He lectured over the fact that I said I know Seroquel is an anti-psychotic and I’m not necessarily looking for that particular prescription and told me what I already knew.

I got a lecture on proper sleep hygiene. This doctor explained that sleep loss is often related to stress (I know, if you had listened, you would have heard me tell you I have an anxiety disorder), he then listed off ways to help with this. Making lists, (yes I do this), going to bed and waking up at the same time, (yes I do this also), not doing high intensity activities in the evening (mhmm, I do that too) and on and on and on.  This doctor ignored the fact that I said I have trouble with this in the past, that I pay attention to my own sleep hygiene because of my past experiences.

This doctor treated me like I was a typical stressed out university student looking for some Adderall to abuse. He was short and rude and treated me like I was his last patient before his lunch break. I am aware that doctors, particularly in a university community, are often faced with students in there who want a prescription to abuse. I am not one of those students.

I left the office in a hurry with a prescription for a sleeping pill which the doctor emphasized, “you can become dependent on it if you use it too often”. YES DOCTOR I KNOW.  My prescription of clonazepam has taught me this.

This doctor is the reason why I hate going to any doctor but my own, the reason why I don’t have a regular doctor in Halifax. He did not listen to me, he did not try to have a conversation about these drugs with me. He assumed I was in there for the slip of paper, trying to use drugs to solve something than can be helped “by clearing a messy area of your room”.

I am aware that you can solve sleeping problems with proper sleep hygiene. I did this for weeks before I made the appointment. I am constantly trying to improve my sleep hygiene. I know that sleeping problems often come with stress, I have an anxiety disorder.

I went into the doctor’s office looking for resources and support, I left feeling ashamed and stupid. No patient, whether you have mental health issues or not, should ever leave their doctor’s office feeling like that.

To this doctor, I hope you don’t treat other students like that. I am not a doctor, I do not know how to do your job. Yet I do know that part of your job is to listen, and help determine what is best for your patient. I also know that universities and colleges are struggling with way more cases of students with mental health issues. I also know that they have been failing to deal with this properly (ie. This student who was kicked out of residence because of his suicidal thoughts)

Shouldn’t you, as a university health professional, know this? Shouldn’t you treat every patient with the same patience and understanding? This is not a post of “boycott university health services” “screw doctors, they’re the worst”. This is a post of frustration about the fact that I continue to run into walls at my university concerning my mental health. This is frustration that I know others are most likely having similar problems and may react differently than I do.

This is a post about why mental health awareness still needs to permeate the university community, so that health professionals, professors, everyone within this community can understand that their actions and words can do a lot of harm.

Here’s hoping.

 

(image source)